DEAR ABBY: I have been married for seven years. The last time my husband and I have been out of the house together was last summer. No movies, dinners, festivals, etc. I finally gave up suggesting things to do.
My husband says I'm the one who feels the need to go out once a week or take an annual vacation. It hurts knowing he goes out to eat with his buddies on his lunch breaks at work. I have said as much, but we still don't go anywhere on the weekends, and he still goes out to eat with his friends. What do you make of this? — PRISONER IN OHIO
DEAR PRISONER: It appears you married a man who is selfish and self-centered. He has a social life — his daily lunches with his buddies. Was he always like this?
You SHOULD enjoy dinners out and movies, too, but you may have to do those things with friends instead of your homebody spouse. If you have a job and income of your own, do not sit at home feeling deprived. If you don't have a job, it's time to find one. When you do, it will help you feel better about yourself and less isolated.
DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with a woman for two years. She has been battling drug addiction during the entire time we have been together. I have made a few serious mistakes, and she blames me for her situation now.
She moved in with me, and I make all the money between us. She refuses to get a job and spends most of my money getting high. I thought she wanted treatment, but she resists getting help. We love each other, but I don't know whether I should move on and leave her behind. What do you suggest? — UNSURE IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR UNSURE: Unless the serious mistakes you made involved hooking your girlfriend on drugs, you are not responsible for her addiction. Because you provide the money that feeds her habit, you have become her enabler. The longer you continue, the longer she will keep using.
What you need to do is find the nearest chapter of Nar-Anon and attend some of the meetings. It's a 12-step program created for friends and families of people who suffer from addictions. You can find the nearest meeting at nar-anon.org. Please don't put it off. You will find emotional support there, and if necessary, enough insight to understand whether you can continue with things as they are, or let her go.
DEAR ABBY: What's the best way to gain the attention of a stranger who is blind? With a sighted person I would make sure I caught his/her eye before speaking. I tried a straightforward "Excuse me, sir," but we were in a public place, and he didn't realize I was talking directly to him. I ended up tapping him on the shoulder, but in general I think it's rude to touch strangers, and he jumped a foot. Is there a better solution? — POLITE IN THE EAST
DEAR POLITE: Yes, there is. One should NEVER touch or grab a sightless person. According to the National Federation of the Blind, what you should have done was to have repeated "Excuse me, sir," and identified yourself from a short distance away — preferably directly in front of him — to avoid startling him.