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Dear Abby: Trainer turns woman's head, husband starts to notice
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Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Trainer turns woman's head, husband starts to notice

DEAR ABBY: I have grown really close to "Pete," my trainer at the gym I joined two years ago. We are both married. I know it's wrong to feel this way. I love my husband, but I'm not sure I am "in love" with him anymore.

I think what I feel for Pete may be more than just a physical attraction and connection. Our lives are so parallel. We are both loyal to our spouses, so nothing has happened.

I'm not sure if he feels the same about me, but I sense our chemistry when we are together. Our friendship hugs are lasting longer, and our flirting has increased to a different level. We text every week in the morning and now, since he quit his job at the gym, we have started to miss each other. I can't stop thinking about him. He's on my mind constantly.

I know I shouldn't open up Pandora's box because it could destroy lives. My best friend has picked up that I talk about Pete more than my husband. My husband overheard one of my virtual workout sessions with him and afterward was cold and different toward me, so I know he was picking up on our connection, too. Should I talk to Pete about how I'm feeling or leave it alone? -- WORKING IT OUT

DEAR WORKING: It's time to ask yourself what, exactly, you want from Pete. Is it a fling? Do you want to wreck your marriage and possibly ruin his? Crushing on a perfect physical specimen is common, and when something is missing in your life, it's easy to fixate on someone you have contact with regularly. If you feel the urge to work out, work things out with your husband because, if your letter is an accurate description of what's going on, that marriage of yours could use some toning up.

DEAR ABBY: I work for a small company in Colorado. It pays well. I will be quitting my job as soon as I'm out of debt, which will be soon. My job is way too stressful, and I'll be able to afford the pay cut.

The problem is, my boss is a relative by marriage and a good friend. Most of the stress in my job comes from the way he communicates with me and everyone else in emails. He is often rude, condescending and accusatory. It has become more than my fragile nerves can handle.

When I quit, how can I exit without calling him out when I'm asked my reason for leaving? Do you have any advice as to a vague yet satisfactory "reason" for leaving? I don't want to bring up the actual problem because he already knows how he is, and his actions won't change. Also, I value the peaceful relationship we have and don't want to cause any drama in the family. -- KEEPING THE PEACE IN COLORADO

DEAR KEEPING: When the question is asked during your exit interview, express gratitude for having had the opportunity to work there. Your reason for leaving will be to "explore other opportunities."

TO MY READERS: I want to wish a very happy Easter to you all! -- Love, ABBY



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DEAR ABBY: I am a senior male. I understand I may have some beliefs that others find old-fashioned. However, I consciously try to be tolerant of others' feelings and beliefs. That said, my problem is with my younger brother, who is a homosexual. I have always tried to ignore that side of his life and, consequently, we have always had a good relationship. He lives in another state, so we only talk on the telephone.

DEAR ABBY: I have something to say about "Still Fun in the South" (Jan. 4) and her complaint that single middle-aged men only look for younger women, instead of women their age. I am a 53-year-old widower. I have a six-figure income. I'm smart, healthy, easygoing and have a good life with many hobbies and interests.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in my late 20s, married and happily child-free. My best friend recently became pregnant, and I am having a hard time with it. I don't enjoy children, and it feels like I am losing my best friend. All she wants to talk about is the baby. I've tried hinting that I'll be here when she and her husband need a break from being "Mom and Dad," but she continues to talk on and on about the all-consuming baby.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a young wife. I married after three months of dating my military husband. He was previously in an on-again/off-again relationship that lasted about eight years, during which she had a baby with another man, etc. I believe my husband is still in love with her. After constantly asking him, he says he just wishes her well and he doesn't have any romantic feelings. I'm not sure what to do, and I just keep overthinking it. Any thoughts? -- HATES HUSBAND'S HISTORY

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