Dear Abby: Women's attraction to man complicates friendship
Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Women's attraction to man complicates friendship

DEAR ABBY: My friend "Lauren" and her husband separated for a few months last summer. During the separation, she had a short fling with my friend "Zack," whom she met at my house. Lauren decided to continue her marriage and, obviously, chose to stop seeing Zack.

A few months ago, Zack came to a party I threw. Lauren wasn't able to make it. Everyone had a few margaritas, and as the night ended, I found myself having sex with Zack for the first time since our friendship began 10 or so years ago. It was so great, and we decided to do it again. I wasn't sure I should tell Lauren, even though she's a married woman, because I was afraid it might upset her.

A week ago, Zack confessed that he may be in love with me, and I feel the same way toward him. I decided to go ahead and tell Lauren, since my relationship with Zack is getting serious. She reacted terribly. She was furious and accused me of "betraying" her and trying to "one-up" her. She said I should have known how she felt about him and that I'm a terrible friend for having sex with him, let alone falling in love. Abby, are her feelings justified? Am I in the wrong? Or are we all still adults? -- ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE

DEAR ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE: Lauren's feelings justified? Heck, no! If you and Lauren are still speaking, "remind" her that when she went back to her husband, she relinquished all claims on the man she slept with in the interim. He's entitled to a life and so are you. If I were you, I'd distance myself from this woman. She shouldn't begrudge you for enjoying someone she can't enjoy herself. Shame on her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a student at an art school, and I'm struggling with anxiety and depression. I have been on lockdown in my hometown due to the COVID-19 pandemic, isolated from my friends and unable to socialize with others. Sometimes when I watch the news I become very anxious, and I wonder if there's a light at the end of these dark times. What should I do? -- ANXIETY-RIDDEN IN ATLANTA

DEAR ANXIETY-RIDDEN: Welcome to the club! If you think you have been alone in experiencing these emotions, you couldn't be more wrong. Many people feel just the way you do -- anxious, isolated and depressed.

You can manage negative emotions by getting out of the house and exercising -- alone or with friends or neighbors -- while staying a social distance apart -- and keeping in touch with friends and classmates using your computer and cellphone. There's no reason you couldn't collaborate with some of them on an art project and create something spectacular using those devices.

Remind yourself that this quarantine is temporary. It isn't going to last forever. Unless you have an underlying health condition or someone in your household does, you can mingle with others wearing a face covering and keeping your distance.

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DEAR ABBY: I am 43, and my boyfriend is 40. He is always at my house, but I can never go to his to sit around and relax. When I get upset about it and want to talk to him about it, he tells me that's not the case at all. I'm welcome anytime. But when I suggest it, I am always turned down. I'm trying hard to be optimistic, but I have so many negative thoughts about this. What should I do? -- KEPT OUT IN ALABAMA

DEAR ABBY: My longtime friend "Bonnie" and I have been reconnecting during COVID, mostly via text and video chatting. She's recently moved back to my area (she's in the military), so we spent a weekend together helping her move in. It was exhausting and stressful, and her drinking concerned me. I know drinking is prevalent in the military, and as a relatively high-ranking officer, she's under a lot of pressure all the time.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in my early 30s. I live and work in a beach town and visit the ocean often on my time off. I have a large tattoo on my side, and while it's tasteful and well done, it depicts nudity (an angel). It's always covered by a shirt and never exposed at work.-- TATTED IN FLORIDA

DEAR ABBY: I'm in high school. My boyfriend lives across the country in a different state. He is a teenager, too. I have asked people for advice about this before and mostly gotten the same answer. They say, "Wait 'til you're older," or, "Your mom is just looking out for you." I don't believe it. -- STRUGGLING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ABBY: "Darlene" and I have been friends for 40 years. She moved to Arizona with me in the '80s from Michigan. Her boyfriend drove out and convinced her to return to Michigan and get married, which she did, but she's always hated Michigan. She raised two girls. I was always called "Aunt" and was considered close.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of nearly 22 years and I divorced last year after he told me he didn't want to be married anymore and didn't know if he ever loved me. Since our split, he has bought a home with another woman -- the same woman I suspected him of having an affair with, and the same woman he encouraged me to befriend during our marriage. 

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with the same man for 15 years. For the last six, we have been living together. He's a machinist who owns his own business and works strict hours of 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday-Friday. Sometimes he locks his doors at 5 and works an hour or two later, but he doesn't call to let me know he is working late. I have told him calling is common courtesy. Sometimes he does it, but more often he does not. He thinks it's "ridiculous" that I would wonder where he is, and if I want to know, I can call his shop.

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